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WRITINGS

Original Fiction, Fan Fiction, & Blog Archive

  • Example phrase for Tools “I am always watching” 


THINGS THAT CAN AFFECT VOICE CHOICES 

  • Character’s Background / Culture / Subculture / Personality  

  • Top stat? 

  • 3 adjectives to describe them 

  • Archetypes: Hero, Sage, Intelectual, Lover, Fool


TOOLS (don’t have to use all, but can use some)

  • Body language/gestures (narrating ok: no visual, neurodivergent, etc) *example

  • Facial expressions/eye gaze *example

  • Pacing (it’s not about the speed of the words, it’s the length of the pauses) 

  • How much they talk (pauses can be “dialogue.” Be aware & don’t step on them. Silent characters, feel free to narrate) *example - also for dm narration not just PCs & NPCs

  • How they say it (emphasis) *example

  • Tone/pitch (Jo & Shawna explain physical difference) *example 

  • Texture/placement (gravel, breathy, smooth, nasal, lisp, stutter) Don't over-spice! *example  

  • Vocabulary (high class, low class, subculture)

  • Catch phrase (best developed naturally in game, but can be planned ahead with intention)


Go back & apply “TOOLS” to “Things that Affect”


MORE THOUGHTS

  • How do the tools change when the character’s emotions change? 

  • Why do we use these tools? So you as character & you as player are distinct “I wanna see what’s over there around that corner” (prevents confusion & conflict) 

  • Warning: can you sustain this? Or will it hurt after a while? Also, if it ends up changing, that’s ok. 

  • If you didn’t intend for something to be funny, but it gets laughs or eye rolls, lean into it - It can become celebrated. 

  • If you intend for something to be funny, use caution, read the room, is it the right time? (the higher your insight, the funnier you get)

  • If it crosses another player’s comfort boundary, stop. If something crosses your comfort boundary, communicate.

  • Q&A TIME

Yo. Guys. I did it.


I finally arranged, recorded, mixed, and released two songs that I wrote.


I cannot tell you how legit proud of myself I am.


People often talk about fear of failure, but what people don't often talk about is fear of success - the fear of actually fulfilling your hopes and dreams. It's so easy to spend your life wishing and desiring, and to never actually take that One Step that starts your journey into Something New - much less the Next Step after that, and the Next. Complacency is a drug.


And I was complicit in my complacence (but that's a lyric to a song I haven't released yet. 😉)

I have wanted to be a recording artist for as long as I can remember, and though I took lots of training in vocals, music theory, music production, performance, and other skills; even after releasing a lofi album a few years ago, and having written these two songs even before that, I still didn't release them.


I had more to learn, and I was afraid to go learn it, afraid to do the work, afraid to put it out there.


Fortunately, there exists in my life a beautiful cocktail of Therapy, Meds & Suppliments, Exercise, and a Powerhouse of a Support System of Loved Ones - with Shawna as the Captain of the Guard. And with all of that support, I finally found not only the strength, but the FIRE to learn the skills necessary to do the work, and finally release these two songs.


There are so many more songs I want to release, but in the age of social media & the plan I have with my distributor, why not release what I've got when I've got it?? I could tel myself excuses all day about how "I'll release it when I have more." No. Release the two you have now, then release more later. And even if these two aren't perfect yet, you can update them later and re-release them in a few years when your skills and resources grow. What's stopping you? YOU get to create your own rules. That's the benefit of being an independent artist.


I don't know what finally clicked in me, but I'm glad it did. And I'm happy that these two incredibly perosnal songs are here for you to witness.


Drink Me Lyrics Baby you don’t know how you make me sing.

I shudder at the flutter of your wings.

Bless me with the sweetness of your sting.

Your seductive shadow is all-consuming.

There’s traction in your passion and it’s getting hot.

Deliver me the ecstasy my soul just bought.

Quick before the 13th ringing of the clock.

Baby come and show me what you got.

I want to fall into you.

You light my candle, ring my bell.

Let me bathe in the spirit of you.

I’ll take you to heaven,

If you’ll let me into your personal hell!

Drink me.

I’m your poison, I’m your wine.

Drink me.

I am twisted and divine.

Just one taste and nothing can save you,

You’ll be craving me like I crave you.

Kiss me.

Taste your blood upon my lips.

Take me.

Dig your nails into my hips.

Worship me in ritual adoration.

You’ll be my doom and I’ll be your salvation

Drink me.

Set me as a silver chain about your heart.

Lay me in solitude of your graveyard.

A devil and an angel dancing in the dark.

Tell me it’s the nightengale and not the lark!

I want to fall into you.

You light my candle, ring my bell.

Let me bathe in the spirit of you.

I’ll take you to heaven,

If you’ll let me into your personal hell!

Drink me.

I’m your poison, I’m your wine.

Drink me.

I am twisted and divine.

Just one taste and nothing can save you.

You’ll be craving me like I crave you!

Kiss me.

Taste your blood upon my lips.

Take me.

Dig your nails into my hips.

Worship me in mutual adoration.

You’ll be my doom and I’ll be your salvation!

Drink me.

I’m your poison, I’m your wine.

Drink me.

I am twisted and divine.

Just one taste and nothing can save you.

You’ll be craving me like I crave you!

Kiss me.

Taste your blood upon my lips.

Take me.

Dig your nails into my hips.

Worship me in mutual adoration.

You’ll be my doom and I’ll be your salvation!

Drink me!

Take me!

Drink me.


About Drink Me

This song is my love letter to the Byronic Hero. Raise your hand if you've ever been attracted to the Dangerous Hot Sad Boi Type. 🙋‍♀️ I volunteer as tribute. For all of them. Not because "I can fix them," but because they're Hott AF and they need someone to love them and all that sad darkness inside of them. And that someone can be me.


"Drink Me" was a victory for me because I've always been afraid of my own sexiness - and of publicly sharing my desires. For years, I didn't know I was goth. I reached a place in my adult life where I was getting increasingly disillusioned and disempowered by feeling like I couldn't express my love of the dark, macabre, sexy, & slightly taboo things. It wasn't until my good friend T said "baby, you're a goth." And my world lit up. They gave me one of my first goth outfit pieces and took me to a goth club. I was a whole new person. I was still allowed to be a bright, happy fairie-tale girl, AND the dark princess - like the heroine of the movie Legend, like the goddess Kore/Persephone. This song is me expressing that dark, dominant side. And I relish it without guilt. It was a huge liberating experience for me. (Watching myself on the tik tok video I made to promote it is still a little uncomfortable, but I'm working on that too.)


The music in this song was inspired a lot by Janelle Monáe (especially the song "Make Me Feel"), and a lot of Trent Reznor's incredible Nine Inch Nails work. At the end, the piano does these super cool chord inversion hits that remind me a lot of the stuff that Yoko Shimomura does with the Kingdom Hearts & Final Fantasy VX soundtracks. Shawna calls it my "Childish Gambino" moment, because it also sounds a lot like the piano at the end of his "Redbone" track.


I love this song so much. I hope it's one that you enjoy too.



Morvryn Lyrics

My Shadow Companion hides his wings

He knows so many secret things

Like struggle, failure, guilt’s cold sting

And from his hidden place, I hear him sing

“Come here, my love, I’ll take your tears,

I’ve walked these halls, I know these fears.

I’ve made this grief into a home;

Come here, my love, you’re not alone.”

As I fall into his arms,

he tastes salt upon my face

And I feel a sense of comfort

In this strange and sacred place

Then I feel a mighty wind

And I hear a mighty sound

And I pull my Shadow closer

As my feet lift off the ground

All I see is rainbow blackness

As my Shadow’s wings unfurl

And I feel a sense of wonder

In this new, familiar world

And my shadow’s now an angel

As he looks into my eyes

And I suddenly fear nothing

As his voice rings out divine

“The dark is not a thing to fight

You needn’t fear your darkest night

Two wings of balance can take flight

A shadow’s born of brightest light

“When night is dark and night is long

I’ll prove your feelings aren’t wrong

Your greatest wound can make you strong

I’ll turn your sorrow into song”

And he transmutes my pain

into ecstatic beauty

And he says “Be not ashamed!”

As he tends to his sacred duty

Every scar becomes a masterpiece at his sight

As from each wound sprouts a plume of radiant night

And he transmutes my pain

into ecstatic beauty

And he frees me from my chains

And I feel his breath flow through me

I feel the stirring of delight

As crystal tears refine my sight

Upon my wings of darkness

We fly into the light, the light, we fly

Into the light, the light, the light!

My Shadow and I, we share our wings

We know that it’s a lovely thing.


About Morvryn

"Morvryn" is another perosnal victory song. Yet again, it's about exploring my Dark Side, or my Shadow. Many of us were raised to suppress the darkness within us, and it took me a long time to dismantle that, and realize that Dark =\= Evil. It is deliberate, cruelty perpetuated by willful ignorance (often born of unconfronted fear) that is evil. But the darkness within us isn't something to be avoided. Nor is it to be allowed to run free and rampant - but rather explored, loved, accepted, and eventually managed in a healthy way. Asking yourself "what external and internal forces are triggering these difficult feelings?" is one way to engage in the important practice of engaging with your shadow. I strive to find the balance between the dark parts of myself along with the light, rather than suppressing the dark until it explodes. This is why I call myself neither a Jedi, nor a Sith, but a Grey Jedi, that follows the middle path - much like Riku in the Kingdom Hearts series, who takes neither the path of darkness nor light, but the Middle Path, the Road to Dawn.


"Ok, the song is bout a balance of dark & light, and working with your shadow self. But why the name 'Morvryn?'" Well, when I started my Shadow Work, I did a LOT of work on the different archetypal personalities within me (these "personalities" more more like hats that I wear in different situations and are integrated wholeistically and are not disassociative like those that love with DID - Dissociative Identity Disorder). Through this introspective journaling work, I identified parts of me that were more motherly, more silly, more hedonistic, more introverted, more demonstrative, more heroic, etc. I gave them all names and associations, and I would sometimes write dialogues between them as a part of my morning "brain-dump" journaling (my Morning Pages, for those of you familiar with The Artist's Way). These exercises were very beneficial to me. When I was able to look at the Feeler of these Feelings as a unique person; able to step outside of myself and look at them as if they were a character in a story, I found myself more able to empathize with them, care for them, love them. It's so easy to hate ourselves for the mistakes we make, but we can often seem to find some empathy for others and say things like "well, you were acting out of pain. Let's find the source of that pain, and try and resolve it. I forgive you for what you have done. I hope you can ask forgiveness for who you hurt, and I would like you to try and forgive yourself as well." We will offer empathy and compassion so easily for others and so difficulty for ourselves. But I found that by stepping outside of myself for a second, I could better offer myself compassion and empathy for why I had acted the way I did, and then re-integrate, take ownership for my actions, and then move forward. I go into a bit more detail on these personality archetypes in our Heroic Self Care guide on our Empowerment page.


"Morvryn" was the name I gave to my Shadow Self, my own inner Byronic Hero, my own inner Dark Sad Boi. Through this journey, I learned not to hate my darkness, but to love him and want to comfort him and show him that he was a blessing to me, and that I could be a blessing to him. Together, we helped ourselves grow.


I also ended up playing him in a 3 year long D&D campaign, but that's another story.


I cannot tell you how much I love my Morvryn. When I am suffering from emotional pain, he is there to empathize, and he has the magic ability to take that pain and help me turn it into art - just like he did when we turned our own darkness into this song. And that is right there in the climax of the song: "He transmutes my pain into ecstatic beauty."


Although most of the instruments in this song are digitally created, the solo violin at the very beginning is me. I used to play all the way through school, though I haven't really picked it up much since I graduated from high school more than 2 decades ago. My bowing was shaky, and my fingering was pitchy, but of Morvryn can resonate beautifully in his imperfections, then so can I. And even though I was self conscious about it, I Did the Damned Thing, and I'm proud of myself. How can I write a song about vulnerability without being vulnerable? Perfection is a myth. Have the courage to Show Up even if you're a bit messy.


The Trumpet was another live instrument. What an absolute blessing to have my brother Josh lend his warm and smooth trumpet to my song. I couldn't think of a better way to help the song soar. I cry every time I hear it.


I hope you enjoy Morvryn as much as I do, and I hope it helps you engage in your own shadow work.


Listen to my album below:


I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase jack of all trades? I’m here today thinking about if this is actually true. The whole phrase is "Jack of all trades master of none"; a pessimistic viewpoint, truly. As an artist that tends to find myself having many interests (Digital drawing, crafts, sculpting, dice making, cosplay to name a few), this phrase feels disheartening. Essentially, it’s saying you need to choose only one path to be an expert at it. While I can understand needing a few thousand hours under your belt to truly gain any sort of proficiency in the thing you’re doing, saying that this is the sole hobby or career or path feels limiting. Not to say that having hands in a bunch of pies isn’t limiting in and of itself (I’m sure we have all experienced too many options of what to watch on Netflix) but just because you split your choices, your hobbies being various, shouldn't mean you can’t become some sort of skilled at it.


I have always drawn visual art. One of my earliest memories of this is pausing the VHS tape of Beauty and the Beast just to try and understand the forms that Lumiere had and when the VHS would eventually resume trying to go back to that exact frame and pause again. In high school and college drawing took a major backseat. It wasn’t just on the back burner, it was off the stove. I had got it in my head that I wasn’t any good at this passion that I loved. That I wouldn’t make anything from it. That I was wasting my time and if I was to be a master at something, it wasn’t going to be this. In recent years I’ve picked it back up again, moving into digital art; something my nine year old self wouldn’t have even dreamed possible. Just a few months ago, I was able to participate in my very first art show, an achievement in and of itself. Friends and family came to support but I also saw strangers enjoying my art and even going so far as to purchase some.


Now while I’m not claiming to be a master, I am claiming to be an artist. If I wish to be a master of anything it’s of learning. Of evolving. Of learning from my mistakes and fixing them. Of coming up with new thoughts and ideas and perspective to better the hobbies I enjoy, not just the ones I’m good at. That’s the kind of artist I am. And while THAT did take me countless hours to master; the mistakes, the trauma I had to work through, the achievements and excepting those achievements, celebrating even the smallest improvement, tearing my hair out when I’ve had some kind of block and being patient with myself to overcome it. It was worth it. "Jack of all trades master of none"? No. Passionate about many trades, experience in some.


Have many hobbies, Geeks. Love them all. Learn from them all and don’t feel like you have to master any of them.


Sent from my iPad


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